Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
