I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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