omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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