Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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