So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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