wakey wakey hands off snakey
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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