i just wanna soil my oats bro
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize