I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
