I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
