Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
