There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
