your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He shit in the fireplace
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
