Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize