You smell like a Billy Joel song
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
