I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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