as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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