exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
