Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
