I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
