There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
