Don't you send me to vm
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
