saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
