i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
