i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize