She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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