Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
