The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
