We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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