Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ladies don't puke and tell
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
