Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
