Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize