he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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