butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
