If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
