My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
