it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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