i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
