A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
