i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
