Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
