period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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