Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
