She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
