i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
