Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We need to get me chipped asap
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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