I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
