Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
