I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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