Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize