:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
