I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
