Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
