I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
