Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When are your genitals available?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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