You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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