Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
