Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
