lets start a swedish sibling band together
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
