This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
