That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he fucked my hip out of place.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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