I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
