Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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