DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize