i can't believe i had my finger in that
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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