Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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