Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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